I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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