We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize