I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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