I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
