They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
