My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
