he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
