you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
