this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
