I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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