careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
