brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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