I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
