dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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