just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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