Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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