please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
