Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
