I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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