I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
