It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
