Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
