I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
