i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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