a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
