I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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