she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
