Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
