id be glad to
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
