and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
