a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
