I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
