please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
