Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
