I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
