Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
