I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
