my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
