I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
