I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
