She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
