Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
