i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
