this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
