sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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