That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
