Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
