woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
and she was petting her beer can
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
