My friends, they love my intelligence
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
