Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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